Don’t we all love it when we get to hang out with the Real Deal?? Not the Jones’. Fake is so 80’s and 90’s. Everyone knows eventually when you are a fake. I am true believer in the truth always comes out. So what makes authentic living people so attractive? They will be just fine without your approval. As a matter of fact they do not try so hard to win you over.
Living in Tinsel Town East this has been a huge lesson for me. There are more fakes running around in this town trying to keep up with “the Jones” then there are Jones. Ha ha. Easy to laugh at now. As young lady arriving in the early 80’s the level of wanna be’s mixed in with the real deal was mind blowing. Everyone carried designer handbags even if they were living paycheck to paycheck. I do not think it was because they loved the bag, they just wanted to be accepted. Hogwash. If people are going to think more of you because of the handbag you carry then you are hanging with the wrong people. We all like nice things do not get me wrong. Some people just take it to a whole new dimension. I got sucked in like the rest of them I admit it. I live in a town where plastic is more than just a credit card. It is everything. Fake boobs, fake hair(extensions) fake jewels, fake titles, fake marriages. Does everyone here think no one has the ability to see right through it??
So what happens when you actually meet the genuine people? The ones that don’t feel and look like Teflon. You try to hang on to them the best that you can. Believe me it is rare. Authenticity is the new Black. When people are authentic they are living their truth and everyone around them knows it. It is a badge of honor. They are not bought and paid for like a you know…….. Authentic people actually have feelings and they are not embarrassed to show them to the few trusted people around them. They share their joy and their disappointment openly. You see, they have nothing to hide or remember. That is why they are the real deal. It is not always easy to spot authenticity, however, it is pretty easy to spot a fake. I hate “reality” TV. It is so staged and ridiculous. I mean seriously you want me to believe that ??? Come on people!!
The worst betrayal is when you betray yourself for the sake of someone else. Whether that is staying in a relationship that no longer serves you or simply pretending to actually like someone for the sake of doing business. When you are fake it chips away at your soul. It tells you… “you are not good enough.” Recognize it when it happens . Something better is in the wings. When you see it in yourself you see it in others. Keeping it real is so attractive.
I remember once a friend of mine who was pretty tied in to high society here in this town got divorced. She is beautiful and very authentic. She is a do gooder. Animal lover, ocean lover. She knows how to catch fish and cook a great meal. She is a looker. We met through a mutual friend and immediately struck up friendship. I adore her. She radiates authenticity. She has worked hard and built a good life for herself. It broke my heart when I saw that as soon as she got divorced she was off the “A” list. Fewer invitations greater scrutiny. The so called friends became frenemies. She became their threat. A big birthday was coming up and I wanted to have a lunch for her at the club. A group of about 10 women joined in. I remember the feeling I had when one of the women said to me “who are you and why do you know so many people?” with a look of sizing me up. Why because I was not married to a big shot? Or have tens of millions of dollars in the bank. Incredulous does not even begin to describe the sentiment. I knew right then and there, most of the people were not her friends. These are women she had socialized with for the last 20 years!! Thank God she had the foresight to get out of this town and start over. I am sure there are Tinsel towns all over the world where the “what have you done for me lately?” crowd live. When we constantly weed out that and who does not serve us we become more authentic. News flash having tons of money does not make you any more real than anyone else. Sometimes it paints a different picture. I know billionaires and people that can barely get by, hopefully I treat everyone the same. It is certainly my intention.
Authenticity is about being honest with yourself first. Honesty provides the transparency the soul needs to be true. Even if someone else does not get your vibe and it comes from a place of being real they will respect it. We are not meant to be all the same. It is just that simple. I have recently reconnected with some girls from my junior high school days. What I love about them is they have not changed. When I spoke with Marcia the other day all the years just slipped away. I remembered her fondly because she was so authentic. I remembered everything about hanging out, sharing make up, getting our Calvin Klein Jeans ready and cruising McDonalds. We always remember the authentic ones because they are real.
As we self validate in our own authenticity it is so easy to be relaxed about meeting another that is authentic. When we are comfortable saying no as often as we say yes then we are being authentic. Authenticity rings being true to your soul. Not your daddy’s money and daddy’s agenda. How about staying with someone for all the wrong reasons? I love the song by James Bay titled “Letting go” when we have to pretend to be someone else to be with them what is the point?? You be you and I’ll be me is the right message for society at this time. Let’s appreciate each other as individuals and love each other for who we are.
Who is better than You?? Nobody!