Letting go is so much easier said than done.  We hang on to everything.  People, old clothes, friends, cars, houses… old pictures, junk, make up, broken fishing rods, high heels we can no longer walk in.  Clutter.  We do it with stuff and relationships .   We pick quantity instead of quality. We hang on so we do not have to let go.  The big question is why???

Sometimes it is the fear of the unknown.   Who would I be if I was not his wife, her friend, have that job title??  Big time life questions of validation.   When we are somebody’s someone in the beginning if feels great.   I remember when I was going through my divorce and I was no longer “the wife”  it felt awful.  I was a good wife. Unfortunately the man I was married to was no longer my “soulmate”.  We both had changed and had become different people.  I still hated losing the title of “wife”.  Somehow the word validated me in someway.  I ran into my BF’s  mom at the mall and she said to me ” I thought you had it all.” Somehow I never forgot how she made me feel .  I allowed that. I take full responsibility for the moment I allowed someone else to make me feel less than whole. I promise you it does not happen now.  I know what she was referring to.. 2 houses, 3 cars and 3 boats, etc…   That my friend is Not having it “all.”  Love, respect, integrity and trust is.   I also remember the one saving grace was Jennifer Aniston was going through the same thing as me at the  time. If it could happen to Americas sweetheart, maybe I should not feel so bad that it happened to me.  Here is the funny thing I wanted  to sue Disney.  I wanted my happy ending.  What do you mean .. no happily every after.??Did a record skip or something…  Misery loves company!    Jennifer did end up dating Vince Vaughan and John Mayer..before she jumped over the broomstick again.  Loved seeing her have a blast with her new found freedom. It encouraged me to do the same.   Inspiration can sometimes come at the checkout line from the most unlikely places.     Letting go is easier said than done.

We have all had friendships that have depleted us.  I had a friend once that was  like she was a sister.  We had the best of times… until we did not.  Somehow the friendship felt like a competition.    Our backgrounds were totally different.  She was very upper middle class and I was not.  She had every opportunity given to her on a silver platter.  I on the other  hand did not but somehow life blessed me anyway. She always had a negative comment to pass on about my hair, my body, my boyfriend ,  my job .. you name it. I  never quite measured up.  So the big question is why did I hang on to the friendship?? I thought she would change.  We had fun together.  She was at that  time more worldly than I was about various subjects.  I admired her upbringing .  I thought she was cool .  What I did not realize is that she took pock shots at me all the time. So here is the thing ,  our friendship ended and it haunted me.   I mean nightmares.  One day I ran into her at a local store .  We had both had some tragedy between us.  Divorce, death, and  betrayal.  Misery loves company remember?  Well we became friends again.   Guess what?? Same story different day.  She was treating me badly again. Finally and I repeat finally after a vacation dispute before the trip even began… I texted her.. ” I wish you peace, happiness and prosperity.”  and I meant it.  DONE.   Trust me letting go is easier the second time. People will treat YOU the way you allow them to.  We sometimes forget how much energy we are giving that one person who does not deserve it.  When we withdraw from relationships that hurt, we create the space to be open to the new, exciting and wonderful things life has in store for us.  We allow our worlds to expand instead of shrinking.   There are times to shrink your world and there are times to open it.

Here is what I have learned.  Trust is earned in drops and destroyed in Buckets!! Let your trust be earned in drops.  Letting go of someone opens up space in your life… for the right people to show up. People who love and support you.  People who have your back and your happiness.  Letting people go that create stress or misery is a good thing.  Your emotions are there to guide you.  Listen to them.   When we “self-validate” instead of giving our power away to unworthy people, we have the confidence to know it will all work out.  By letting go of people, I have opened a world filled with friends I adore.  Special relationships that mean the world to me.  One of the best things in life is finding out where and who you belong to.   It is one of life’s rewards.   You feel  content  and  blessed by  connection of family, friends and community.  When we know where we belong …our best life unfolds.   Letting go is Soooooo worth it.    Who is better than YOU??  Nobody 🙂