Destiny, fate, karma words we are all familiar with.   Sometimes in life we just feel it is the end of the road.   We have no idea that is just a bend.  The stories we will tell ourselves play out in so many different ways and usually the endings are well….. just not endings but new beginnings.    One day I was driving by a church in my neighborhood,  this one was posted.  It struck me!  How many times have I put a period or an ending to something and in reality it was a pause.  It certainly was not the ending of something.  It was the pause to catch my breath and then see how it would all play out.    Never put a period where God puts a comma.

I tend to use this phrase a lot around my children when frustration and fear creeps into their lives.    Their response is usually the same.    “I know Mom,   Never put a period, where God puts a comma.”   You know what??   I hope it serves them well.

I believe “curve balls” or “wake Up calls’ are there for a reason.   To give us a reason to pause.  To catch our breath.  Maybe even hit “refresh”.   We all “want it all.”  The beauty is in not getting it ALL AT ONCE.   That is not a natural order of things.  Think of the seasons.   Think of maturity.  Think of wisdom.   I believe there is a natural order of things in our life that can not be explained. We all have our own definition of having it all .  Most of us, over time appreciate that it will come if we have the patience and the persistence to achieve it.   Anxiety is caused when we lack faith in the outcome.  We hit fast forward so often we do not even get to see the movie.  Stress happens when we believe we are the victim in our own stories.   SLOW your mind down and regroup.

If you have been a reader of mine for a while you know the story of my son Zach and his battle with scoliosis.  You know that for three painful years he slept in a brace trying to correct his back.  His  sleep was not restful.  His breathing became labored.  So many doctors appointments.  As a mother it was trying.   Any time something happens to your child that is beyond your control you analyze it.  What I realize now is that this experience has served it purpose in more ways that I could ever write about.

Having a child go through something as traumatic as surgery makes you questioning everything.  Faith, God, fairness and all the why Me’s you could every imagine.  It is different than  divorce or illness in an elderly person.   The feelings are so raw and painful.  Fear takes a hold of you and messes with your mind like nothing that you have ever felt before.  Prayers are in your ever waking moment.  There is nothing more real in your life than facing the most precious gift in your life with uncertainty.  It is a wild roller coaster ride of emotions from start to finish.   You either get closer to God or you get angry.  I chose closer.

These huge tests we go through to check  our resolve is where we get to find out WHO we really.   Sometimes you do not have to go through a surgery to get there.  Unfortunately/fortunately …  I did.     You see, so much beauty came of this experience.   I was able to connect the dots to decisions I had made previously.   My ex husband and I were there for our son.   We did not have as you say ..an amicable divorce.. Ha ha.  I had every reason under the sun to really distance my self from him for all the right reasons.  Instead for the sake of my children I was inclusive.   Birthdays, celebrations, holidays at the  school you name it.   Same thing with my ex in laws.   Did I do it for me…. not really.   I worked hard at maintaining the relationships for the kids.   I knew that my kids would be better served by a family united than divided.  People have called me a saint a times, my answer to that is my kids come first,  before my EGO and before my pride.  I did not have them to Rule them …..I had them to love them.    Here is the thing, my decisions paid off in spades.  When the crisis hit, both parents were united for  the sake of our child.   It was not awkward. The reason you forgive someone is it gives you the peace of mind.   It was kind of funny as we went to recovery the nurse asked us how long we had been married.   Our response was “we are happily divorced. ”  You should have seen the look in her eyes!!

This surgery brought a closeness with my son that  can not be measured.   From the hospital to journey home and the weeks that followed our bond was strengthened.   I initially had to  do everything for him.  Those first few days were tough.   He was coming off the morphine and dealing with extensive pain.    Now I look back and I see that the entire experience changed us both.   We value life as more precious and appreciate our health.   I have seen him make very wise decisions that I am not sure he would of without the experience.   We both grew and matured in ways that are indescribable.

So the moral to the story is what ever you are going through right now, whether is it a wake up call or a curve ball take it as a sign.  Find the beauty in the lesson.  There is a reason the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view mirror.    We only get to connect the dots as we go down our own path. It will all make sense down the road …..if you allow it.  We have no idea how strong we are or how loved we are until we are met smack in the face with something we would not wish on anyone.  When those times show up, my wish for you is that you find the strength and the love that was always there but hiding in the dark.   That is the beauty in this life.   Keep the faith.

Who is better than You??? Nobody!!

“Remember you don’t get the rainbows without the Storm.” Dolly Pardon